​The Bridgend Bulldogs maintained their late surge up the table with a comprehensive 5-0 win v Penybont. Bridgend were clinical on the night, all winning 3-0. Pictured here is decent number 1, Lloyd “bad jokes” Forkan, who’s pace and power far outweigh his terrible jokes in the bar after! Well done to the team for their efforts. Top of the table Merthyr are next on the menu, folllowed by crucial home games v Newport and Swansea to try clinch that first ever promotion to Premier 1 for the club.

​Bridgend A took a mighty leap up the Prem 2 table on Thursday after defeating 2nd placed David Lloyd Swansea 5-0. Unfortunately, the home team were missing two players, but the Bulldogs were in an unforgiving mood!
Rob and Matt got the team off to a winning start, followed up by the two Dais, Howe and Thomas. Lloyd, a decent number 1, closed it out with a strong performance. Well done to the team, the promotion challenge is back on track.

• At 1, Paul pushed his opponent (Ravanth) very hard and from corner to court corner, especially in the first 2 games, where Paul clinched a win in the second game. It could be seen that Paul’s concentration perhaps slightly ‘wavered’ after querying one (or two calls) from the referee. A very intense game was in evidence throughout. Although culminating in a 1-3 loss, a sterling effort was demonstrated from our home player. Having played the previous evening for the B team, this also showed the high level of fitness called upon. Ravanth was delighted with his visit to Bridgend, not only due to his win, but he was clearly spoilt rotten by Linda’s (Mikes Mum) Vegetarian offering of Spaghetti, Garlic Bread, Shredded cheese and ‘Meat free’ Meat balls. Despite the rest of the team enjoying the magnificent delights of Chicken Curry, envious glances towards Ravanth’s feast were evident and some were even considering converting to Vegetarianism (albeit perhaps for the wrong reasons).
• At 2, Ben played Bertie (real name). Ben will be the first to admit nerves gets the better of him during team matches, this match being no exception. A 1-3 loss however belied the tremendous effort Ben put into this match. Whilst clinching the second game, Ben displayed exactly what he is capable of and gave ‘Bertie a Bashing’. The author refereed and whilst it was clear that Bertie was an extremely skilled and competent player, his knowledge of the rules left me wondering if it was a fluke that he could play the game of squash at all. After the first game, the author had to seek Bertie out, as, after a very, very long spell, he had not returned on court. He was eventually located, on the balcony, watching the other game in progress. A very strange event, which I can only put down to perhaps excessive pot noodle, or pot something, consumption, as can be that of a University students’ diet (disclaimer: not all students of course). Unlucky Ben, perhaps the greatest effort on display overall, this based on having to overcome the curse of the jitters.
• At 3, Chris (Beale) played Joe. At 21, Joe has 40 years of ‘less hardened’ arteries and ‘less worn’ joints, than Chris. As such, Joe continued to improve and saw off Chris in a demonstration of youth, coupled with the advantage of having low body mass. Chris also ran around like a man possessed and reflected the time and energy where Chris’s attendance at the Halo Gym and Pilates classes paid off. Note that Chris had also played for the B team the night before and won his match. The scores above showed Chris was a whisker away from beating Joe with a narrow loss at 2-3. Tremendous squash skills and deceptive shots, unlucky Chris. Joe intends to celebrate this win by purchasing his ever first shaving kit. Well played both players.
• At 4, Crispin (only one way to spell this correctly and I think/hope this it!) also narrowly lost 2-3. Crispin played Oli, a very fit and skilful squash player. You could tell that Crispin had Oli worried as players tend to blink ‘very rapidly’ just before receiving a serve from his opponent after a previously lost point – an observation recorded in the famous Squash Bible (‘How to Play squash and with the least amount of Effort’ Author: G Jones, 1922, Publisher: ‘Chilling, Houghton & Sorting’). A fantastic display of skill and prowess, as usual, from Crispin, who does like to get his monies worth by playing 5 setters (whenever possible). Close one Crispin, unlucky.
• At 5, What can we say that hasn’t already been said. Here are the facts: James (Musketeer) Ridd wins again – a 3-0 stuffing. James played Louis, a six foot four and lithe young Student, who looked perhaps a little new to the game, but showed great fighting spirit and was seen to throw in some canny (careful spelling!) shots. We think Louis has only now very recently recovered from his encounter from the formidable James. Tip: Watch James stroke his left ear lobe before he serves – a sure indicator (and an observed trait of James) that his next point will be a winner. Well done James.

As always, thanks to all Bar staff for looking after the Squash teams and to Jana for allowing us to use the club’s kitchen facilities. Thanks to Linda (Mikes Mum) for provided us with lovely home cooked food as always.
Games remaining this season include one more home game (Thursday 16th November) and three away games, last game being scheduled for 13th December

Author: Gareth Jones (Incumbent Bridgend C team Captain)

•  Paul played John Blackmore, a very tricky opponent and very much on top of his game. The scores became closer in the 2nd and 3rd games, but Pauls opponent proved very tricky. Great determination and stamina in evidence from both players, but it wasn’t to be. We were grateful for Paul stepping in for us as number 1, as his main commitment is pretty much in the role of supporting the B team. This allowed wins for our 3, 4 & 5 position players and, importantly, to secure our first win thus far! Hurrah. So, it could be said, that Paul ‘took one for the team’! Great effort.
• Chris (C) played Kevin Miller. Chris often appears to end up playing an opponent who is either feisty, extremely fit, or both! Kevin was more towards the latter and, to be fair, Chris kept up extremely well and pretty much matched him on the fitness front. However, the opponent managed to squeeze in more of the necessary winning shots and pipped Chris at the end, losing 1-3. Chris won his 3rd game, demonstrating excellent fitness and skills to clinch this, especially so far into the match. Unlucky Chris, and it should be noted that at number 2 position, the going will always be tough.
• Chris (B) played Dean Longden and beat him 3-1. An outstanding result and it is noticeable that Chris’s fitness has been finely honed recently and shows by his relentless pace throughout. Chris has a particularly interesting shot where he deceives or rather, dupes, his opponent (and those watching!) via a ‘cutting overhead slice lob’ to the opposite side of the front wall, where the opponent moves to – the opponent, it can be imagined, is ‘calling for a taxi’ at this point. Well done Chris.
• Crispin played Joseph Gough and achieved a fantastic 3-1 win. Would have been a 3-0 win, but was just pipped at the second game with a score of 11/15. The rest was a walk in the park, but with no alcoholic tramps or weed takers in sight. Well done Crispin, a pretty near faultless display on how to play very good squash.
• James played Luke Mussa and started the ball rolling, so to speak, with a credible 3-1 win. Almost a 3 ‘niller killer’, however, James was just squeezed out of the first game with a narrow 13/15 score. After this first narrow score, something changed within James’s demeanour and he looked as though he meant business – and he did. James’s eyes turned as black as night, almost darker than his hair, shots became more powerful and sharper, and his opponent was perhaps, we can only imagine, wishing he was clutching onto the ears and paws of his favourite teddy bear. Well done James (again!).

 Author: Gareth Jones (Incumbent Bridgend C team Captain).

• Chris C played Jack Williams. Whilst Chris’s result was a 0-3 loss, this does not reflect the battle that was witnessed throughout. It’s a bit like when (on the odd occasion), England beats Wales in the 6 Nations, where the true battle which actually took place on the pitch is completely ignored by the English supporters and punters alike. The first 13/15 score took Jack to a nervous and rather dark place and it was noted that Jack was on maximum alert and pushing out on full gas to keep the 2nd and 3rd score lines to a 10/15 count. Chris, who was playing out of his normal 2/3 position, displayed great fortitude throughout.
•  The mighty Chris B played Kavi Morjaria and beat him with a reasonably easily 3-1 final score. Although Chris lost the first game at 13/15, the determination on Chris’s face upon return after this narrow score count was a sight to behold. The remaining games were won with aplomb by Chris. We can only imagine Kavi was longing to return to the comfort of the University Campus and, perhaps, looking forward to the many student parties being held in between the 2 to 3 mandatory weekly 45-minute lectures. Bosh, a win. Well done Chris.
• James played Yuji Westmacott. On this occasion James lost 0-3 to Yuji. James narrowly lost the first game 15-17, after one heck of a slog. This was reflected where James was seen attempting to recover his form and oxygen supply in the second game and where Yuji was rather unfortunately relentless in his attack. James’s 3rd game then became an amazing display of ‘tit for tat’ (assuming its ok to use those words in this present and confusing climate?) – a 12/15 final game score line sadly sealed James’s fate – but it was a battle well fought. James playing up the order from his normal 4 to position 3. Hats off to Yuji, a highly competent player. Unlucky James on this occasion.
• Stan played Harry Champion. Fortunately for Stan, Harry did not live up to his name, and, on this occasion, was not a Champion. Well done Stan, loads of boasts and disguised ‘off the frame’ shots (who needs strings?). Stan won this with a 3-1 scorcher. Stan is a man who usually keeps his thoughts and expressions to himself, however, on this occasion, Stan let out a rare display of emotion with an extremely loud and startling ‘Whoop Whoop, have some of it, yeh, ave it…’ Further, a fist, belonging to Stan, was seen powerfully thrust into the air, pretty much demonstrating a display of extreme confidence and pride to behold – well done Stan, a great win.
• Nathan played (his first team match debut) against Hamza Miznazi and Nathan put up a sterling performance. The result, whilst losing 0-3, does not reflect the effort and ‘tooing and froing’ of this game. A consistent 11/15 score line for all 3 games demonstrates this was no walkover. A great effort from Nathan, full stop, well done. Note Hamza had the idea that these C team games went to 11 and not to 15 and there was a moment very oddly, when Hamza thought he only had to play one game! (instead of first to 3 wins). The plot thickened when the author was unable to load the scores for Hamza since he didn’t appear in the ‘system’. I suppose ‘to err is human’, but it would have been nice if Squash Wales were to have apologised for what turned out to be another error on their part. Apologies nowadays appears to be a rare event – maybe that is a discussion for another day, over a beer.

    Author: Gareth Jones (Incumbent Bridgend C team Captain).

Tuesday night saw the B team strengthen their grip at the top of the table.

• A foggy night in Llantrisant kicked off with Paul “Sparky” Grosvenor and Daf “Stato” Watkins picking up where they left last week.  Strong performances from both against a weakened side enabled both players to cement victories against much younger opposition.
• Sparky for most parts managed to avoid the wild racket swings of his wiry opponent, although at one point in the match the racket did find Sparkys’ collar bone – fortunately no damage was done and a couple of swift side steps later to avoid the bouncing racket of his opponent on more than one occasion Sparky came through the victor and more importantly unscathed. Paul wins 3-0 
• Meanwhile, Stato Watkins was blowing on the ever-hot courts, struggling to find his usual nicks and that extra bounce of the ball.  All that said, a Masters ready Stato put his recent weight loss, return to form and fresh tennis ball haircut to the test winning through comfortably in the end.  Daf wins 3-0
• With the foundations laid, Paul “Mild Mannered” Miles and Chris “The Hobbit” Hampton took to the stage.
• The Hobbit, as with last week seemed distracted and not performing to his usual mercurial standard.  It was either down to him being distracted by the looming Weekend Masters event and the fear of the draw or an overly tight steam pressed team shirt (see picture below- you decide).  Despite this however, Chris as baffled as the rest of us, was 2 up in a blink of an eye.  A late surge from his Llantrisant legend opponent to retrieve a game was enough to kick the Hobbit into action winning through in a tightly fought fourth.  Chris wins 3-1. (Well done my Precious)
• Turning to Paul “ Mild Mannered “ Miles match, we were all breathing a sigh of relief he had not drawn Sparky’s opponent or the big Brummie, but up stepped the little known female opponent Ange. A cat and mouse contest ensued and saw the duo matching each other virtually point to point.  Ange managed to break free in the first taking a deserved win. The second was an even tighter battle with both players tightening up their game and stretching themselves to the max, including an acrobatic splits from Ange.  At 14 points all “Mild Mannered” called one, and his agile opponent in a blink of an eye stole the show with a cracking backhand drop from the back of the court to also take the second game.    
• Despite this knock back however,  a refreshed “Mild Mannered” returned to the court focused and determined to keep his winning record intact.  He took the 3rd comfortably, and we could all see his swagger was back.  Moving into the 4th “Mild Mannered” again stretched out a commanding lead before his opponent found her second wind and started to reel him in like a fish on the end of a hook.  Mild mannered managed to save 5 match balls and before we knew it we were at a tie break.  Set 3 was called and at 16-15 up Ange was again serving for the match.  Following a lung busting rally and a poor front court drop from “Mild Mannered”, Ange stepped forward, held her racket up,  tuned to the ref and despite clearly having the shot decided not to ask for what was an obvious stroke ball, and instead believing she had time stepped around “Mild Mannered” and slammed the ball into the tin.  Priceless!!!!  Players from both teams aghast and with her head in her hands  Ange was clearly broken.  She quickly tumbled down the mountain,  and simply fell away in the 5th.  Paul wins 3-2.  (Sleep well Ange)     
• So with the match sealed is was just down to Neale “Sicknote” Jones to top off the victory against a re-energised Mr Timms.  The game was fast paced and well matched with neither Timms or “Sicknote” giving an inch.  In his usual style Sicknote managed to find the extra gear in the first 2 legs but was clearly struggling for fitness on this super fast court.  Mr Timms gritty determination saw him pull back the 3rd .  A quick couple of words from the captain advising “Sicknote” of the fast approaching local ale house stop tap time (who by the way serve Stella) saw an energised “Sicknote” return to court like Speedy Gonzalez, to see off his opponent, as well as a World record shower and change.  Neale wins 3-1 (Stella Forever)

All in all a great team win, with a maximum 20 points to Bridgend and 5 for our opponents.

• Man of the Match – goes to Paul Mild Mannered Miles.

A great curry and good slurp in the local with our hosts.
Best wishes to Daf, Chris and Neale in the Masters this weekend. Do your best boyz but more importantly please don’t get injured!

• Good news is we have a bye next week so plenty of time to recover

Report by Lois Lane  
​Photos by Peter Parker aka AP (B team captain)

At almost full strength for the first time this season, the B team expected a comfortable night and a return to form at home on Wednesday night for their 4th match.

• First up was Stuart “Grasshopper” Bevan who quickly sprang into action, taking a well deserved and commanding lead against an up and coming junior.  Game 3 however, saw a spirited display by the youngster who put in a top performance signalling a David and Goliath encounter was on he cards. Game 4 proved critical and despite digging in and pulling off some spectacular shots it was clear this was going to the wire.  Calming and encouraging words from Phil “Nookie Bear” Pook were provided in the interval but “David” the youngster reigned supreme in the end. Stuart losing 2 games to 3.  - Sleep well Grasshopper
• Meanwhile, Daf “Stato” Watkins was on the adjacent court cutting through his opponent with consummate ease, with a fine display of trickle boasts and holding shots – a total mismatch, but helped cement a valuable win for the team. Daf wins 3 games to 0.
• Up next, and returning to the B team was Neale “Sicknote” Jones, who after a shaky start found himself down 2 games against the tricky Mario “Nintendo” Perna,  Neale managed to dig deep and pulled the match back to 2 games each heading into the 5th with the club’s “balcony buddies” cheering from the rafters  - our hopes were high! The Nintendo man had other ideas though and just like his gaming character laid enough banana skins on the court to trip up his capable and experienced opponent.  Neale lost 2 games to 3.    
• Paul “ Sparky” Grosvenor on the adjacent court in another mismatch dispatched his opponent with some aplomb, combining some great lobs and cross court drops.   Despite a valiant effort from his opponent in the third, Sparky proved more than up to the challenge and sent him packing.   Paul wins 3 games to 0.
• So with the match finely balanced at 2 rubbers each, up stepped Chris “ The Hobbit” Hampton for the final match.  Despite lacking his usual “Va Va Voom” Chris was 2 games up in a blink of an eye, but his opponent “ The Cannonball” (team mates nickname) rolled back the years and exploded into action,  fighting back hard to win the third.  The fourth game was pivotal however, and the Hobbit pounced into action having either found “Smeagols Ring/or the Eye of Sauron”, he confidently dispatched “the cannonball” into no mans land.  Chris wins 3 games to 1

A great result on the night (despite making hard work of it)  with an 18 point to 8 victory.

• Mam of the match goes to Mike “ The Grinders” mother for a fantastic curry, rice, chutney and poppadom’s, winning the award for best innovation whilst cutting onions!! Priceless ( No pictures allowed)

Onwards and upwards – Llantrisant away next Tuesday
Da iawn
  
Match report  - Lois Lane (aka AP  - B team captain)